An unexpected role has opened at Remote Employment for Home based Witches and Wizards.
The position is only open to those with suitable experience who are only looking for a one-day career.
You must be the owner of a fully taxed broom (must borrowed from your Mother-In-Law) and you should have the appropriate operator’s license. A state of the art broom, complete with sat nav, breakdown cover and turbo boost, will enhance your prospects of selection for this role.
One of the job requirements will be to wear a uniform, which you are expected to supply. This will be a tall black hat, a long black sweeping cloak and long false nails.
Blackened teeth goes with the job but yellow or hairy ones will be rejected. The successful candidate can be expected to be remunerated with sweets, potions, candle-burnt pumkins and an enviable selection of smoked and dried newt, bat and frog parts.
About you:
* You will preferably have a pointed nose with large warts (and all). Crooked noses and stooped backs also considered.
* Bearded witches preferred, but all shapes and sizes could be ideal applicants.
* You must be able to show previous relevant experience and a portfolio of tried and tested potions.
* Curses accepted, but no cursing.
* Additional languages not essential. However, incomprehensible mumbling would be an advantage.
* A degree in physics, science or chemistry would be preferred by not essential as you could be accepted for a training role in future to help our team of witches and wizards to create home based spells and flexible working concoctions for the business community at large!
* A biology GCSE and a thorough understanding of the anatomy of the frog and bat is nothing but helpful!
Your role will involve whizzing around the Remote World to spread Halloween tricks to a largely unsuspecting audience, young and old. It could help your application if you show initiative and tell us how you would do this.
Period of employment – one night only on the 31st October.
If your night of mystic mayhem is successful you may be recruited full time to spread the magic of remote and home working across the nation, or at least be shortlisted for next year’s Halloween recruitment drive.
Our immediate response is urgently required! Tell us why you would make a great wizard or witch! CVs are unnecessary, just a paragraph about your credentials and excellence for this sought after role. Pictures may help, if you dare!
Get your application in now to avoid disappointment! The best application wins a concoction of wizardry tricks and treats and treats, and vouchers worth £100 from the ‘busy’ Remote Employment Team.
Posts
